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  1. #11
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    Aug 2007
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    Default Re: "The house is haunted"? Is this a joke?

    Yea, that cosmic cytoplasm is tough on drains.
    Ghosts were the first thing I thought of too when my furnace quit last winter.

  2. #12
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    Default Re: "The house is haunted"? Is this a joke?

    Quote Originally Posted by ed21 View Post
    Yea, that cosmic cytoplasm is tough on drains.
    Ghosts were the first thing I thought of too when my furnace quit last winter.
    Usually it's Toe Monsters (not to be confused with TOH Monsters ... ) that inhabit drains. Gremlins are generally associated with furnaces, and Cord Monsters are the buggers who twist, tie, and wrap electrical cords, ropes, and other long things into knots or around posts or wedge under things.

    Ghosts and cosmic cytoplasm are just manifestations of irrational beliefs ...

  3. #13
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    Default Re: "The house is haunted"? Is this a joke?

    Quote Originally Posted by A. Spruce View Post
    Ghosts and cosmic cytoplasm are just manifestations of irrational beliefs ...
    Glad you set me straight.

  4. #14
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    Default Re: "The house is haunted"? Is this a joke?

    Quote Originally Posted by ed21 View Post
    Glad you set me straight.
    Well we can't have you going around spouting wiggy, now, can we?

  5. #15
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    Default Re: "The house is haunted"? Is this a joke?

    (not to be confused with TOH Monsters ... )
    Hmmmmm .... careful now.

  6. #16
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    Aug 2007
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    Default Re: "The house is haunted"? Is this a joke?

    An old man was walking down a shady country road on his way home one dreary Autumn night. As he walked through the rustling leaves he began to hear a sound behind him. He first wrote it off in his head as echoes of his own footsteps. But then he swore he could have heard a "scraping" sort of sound. He stopped and whirled, wide-eyed, hoping to catch glimpse of whatever was following him... but there was no one, and nothing, there.

    "Hmph. Silly old man.", he muttered to himself. And continued trudging on through the night, only this time at a slightly faster pace. Less than twenty steps later he heard the sound again! This time he looked behind him to see a coffin seemingly dragging itself down the road, in pursuit of the old man! He turned on his heels, stumbling, until he reached full gallop down the road. Yet the coffin continued to close. The old man dug deeper and double-timed his steps when he saw his house. While the coffin was still gaining, he thought he could get to the door before he was overtaken.

    With a mighty effort the man climbed his front steps, lungs burning, and heaved open his front door. Leaping through, he barely got the door shut before the coffin slammed into it. BOOOM! BOOM! BOOM! The old man watched in terror as the coffin splintered his front door and continued its chase into the house. He ran out of the living room and up the stairs, the coffin close behind. It seemed ever so intent upon claiming this old man, and it looked as though nothing would deny the coffin its prize.

    "The bathroom!", the old man thought to himself. "I'll lock myself in there!". Once again, the old man barely gets the door shut before the coffin can catch him. Taking hold of a chair, the old man locked the door and propped the chair in under the knob, then began looking to the window as a means of escape. But the window was so small. He doubted he could fit through. Undaunted, the coffin once again began to break through the door.

    Realizing that he wouldn't get out of the room, he decided to put up a fight. "If I'm going down, I'm not going down easy. This God-forsaken evil coffin will remember my name after this night." So the man began to throw whatever he could get his hands on at the coffin through the partially broken door. The plunger, the soap, the toilet lid actually broke off a part of the coffin. "Ha!" he said, "Come and get it!" But after a short while the man ran out of things to throw, so he pulled the medicine cabinet off the wall and threw it with all his might. The coffin dodged this time and the cabinet missed... but one single bottle of Robitussin sailed out and shattered all over the coffin. The sticky purple fluid ran down the front of the coffin, hardly any of it hit the floor.
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    And then the coffin stopped.

  7. #17
    Join Date
    Oct 2007
    Posts
    132

    Default Re: "The house is haunted"? Is this a joke?

    LOL @ ****hiller! :-D :-D

    Wish I'd read that article or editorial - sure seems to have sparked a good long yackity yak here, and I sure came in very late to it...

    stevew, I don't believe you'll ever convince someone who's seen a ghost that they haven't.

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