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Thread: Final Fix

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  1. #1
    Join Date
    May 2012
    Location
    Northern VA
    Posts
    16

    Default Final Fix

    From Reader's Digest:

    I canít tell the difference between a rose and a dandelion. So when it came time to fix up my garden, I had no clue which plants to keep and which ones to remove. Until, that is, my mother gave me this handy tip: "Pull them all up. If it comes back, itís a weed."

  2. #2
    Join Date
    May 2012
    Location
    Northern VA
    Posts
    16

    Default Re: Final Fix

    Also from Reader's Digest:

    I took a real estate client to a handyman special. The place was great, and we couldnít understand why it was so cheap, until we turned on the water main and water gushed from the ceiling. Dripping wet, my client put a positive spin on the showing: "Nice house," he said. "Itís even self-cleaning."

  3. #3
    Join Date
    May 2012
    Location
    Northern VA
    Posts
    16

    Default Re: Final Fix

    Also from Reader's Digest:

    My wife and her friend Karen were talking about their labor-saving devices as they pulled into our driveway. Karen said, "I love my new garage-door opener."

    "I love mine too," my wife replied, and honked the horn three times. That was the signal for me to come out and open the garage.

  4. #4
    Join Date
    May 2012
    Location
    Northern VA
    Posts
    16

    Default Re: Final Fix

    Also from Reader's Digest:

    When my friend got a job, her husband agreed to share the housework. He was stunned by the amount of effort involved in keeping a house clean with small boys to pick up after, and insisted that he and his wife shop for a new vacuum cleaner.

    The salesman gave them a demonstration of the latest model. "It comes equipped with all the newest features," he assured them.

    The husband was not convinced. "Donít you have a riding one?" he asked

  5. #5
    Join Date
    May 2012
    Location
    Northern VA
    Posts
    16

    Default Re: Final Fix

    Also from Reader's Digest:

    We purchased an old home in northern New York State from two elderly sisters. Winter was fast approaching, and I was concerned about the houseís lack of insulation. "If they could live here all those years, so can we!" my husband confidently declared.

    One November night the temperature plunged to below zero, and we woke up to find interior walls covered with frost. My husband called the sisters to ask how they had kept the house warm. After a brief conversation, he hung up. "For the past 30 years," he muttered, "theyíve gone to Florida for the winter."

  6. #6
    Join Date
    May 2012
    Location
    Northern VA
    Posts
    16

    Default Re: Final Fix

    Also from Reader's Digest:

    My sister Darlene has the courageóbut not always the skillsóto tackle any home-repair project. For example, in her garage are pieces of a lawn mower she once tried to fix. So I wasnít surprised the day my other sister, Jesse, and I found Darlene attacking her vacuum cleaner with a screwdriver.

    "I canít get this thing to cooperate," she explained.

    "Why donít you drag it out to the garage and show it the lawn mower?" Jesse suggested.

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