Re: kitchen remodel, but how do we do it? eeks...
The highly-trained kitchen expert trainees at the big box are there to sell cabinets and countertops. They can provide little useful information or practical experience toward moving doors and windows. If the only satisfactory design is realized by altering the structure, you have to involve a structural engineer and an architect, or at least a contractor with a relationship to one of the two. Moving a door and adding a window is often a crucial step in bringing out the best balance between history and function in an old house. I have done it in my own kitchen, and I guarantee without adding one window and moving one door the outcome would have been bleak.
Sometimes the best answer is found by thinking outside the box. There are instances where flipping room functions opens up greater possibilities; exchanging the kitchen and dining room functions is often a masterstroke. Usually it takes a visionary designer to perceive such possibilities/benefits. You will not find that at the big box.
Remove not the ancient landmark, which your fathers have set.